Zsofi

“The techno scene is like an alternate universe where you step into this imaginary world, where everyone is happy to express themselves and the outside world ceases to exist. I wish this would be the regular way of existing: A world where formalities don't matter, where people express their creativity and personality with outfits, their passion gain momentum, and they are also generally much nicer to each other than in real life. I feel we lose so much time with being formal and not conveying feelings in real life.
Before I got acquainted with techno I was floating around genres since I broke ties with the underground Black Metal community. I already found Deep House quite close to my heart by the time I had my first encounter with techno: seeing Perc in a tiny club in Leeds. I remember my friend warning me that I would probably not like this type of music as it was quite hard, but I felt the opposite. I was super impressed with the hard beats. I guess if you grow up in Black Metal ‘hard’ has a different meaning.
However, the real breakthrough came when I moved to Hamburg, Germany. Those years have a special place in my heart: the ambience, the people, and unlimited hours of raving gained a new meaning and I consider myself lucky for finding the right people who knew where the hidden raves were. All the people I know in Germany were very friendly and accepting, and I miss them and the venues greatly.
After I left the Black Metal scene, I missed my ‘dark’ side to give space too. I have found this again in techno. I feel liberated when dancing in general but here three things come to my mind: freedom, self-expression and the shivers that deep and dark sounds give me.

A lot of people I have spoken with feel like they are more able to express their emotions at techno parties and under the influence of drugs. I feel sort of the opposite. In the most positive way, I feel liberated to NOT have to feel other people all the time. I have already too many thoughts and feelings around people on an average day and the club is the place where these senses for me get dimmed. I feel empowered to not have to pretend, to not have to run the usual formalities which are taking over your life once you hit a certain age, to not have to take care of any responsibilities, to JUST DANCE.
It is this freedom and feeling of uncontrolled self-expression of bodily movement in ways that might be considered ugly sometimes and pretty at other times, freedom of not caring what other people think of you. Dance in general has a special place in my life, and so it is almost a situation where I can say that the type of people and the uninhibited dance plays a much stronger role and creates my ties with the scene and not the music in itself. I see the music as a facilitator sort of, and if you think about it this is true in many cases, ultimately the people make the club into what it is.
I see the lockdown as a personal challenge. I feel this is teaching us something, but I am also not 25 not anymore, so maybe it is easier for me to see it this way. I miss dancing of course, and the random opportunities to get to know strangers, the stress release, but I see this as a time to turn inwards and deal with some things people often like to swipe under the rug when the normal distractions such as partying are present.
I don't fear that there will be much harm done to the scene (I am aware of the financial challenges clubs are facing of course, but just like nature finds its way through every disaster, so do people), looking through history and seeing human behavior, probably things will come back stronger than ever. Each to their own. I personally will be seeking out smaller events where people feel free to be themselves”

🗣 @goalmostfancy
📸 @hedonsonance / Annelies Kietselaer