Jenna

Techno has given me a new sense of confidence in the expression of my body. Coming from the US dancing has always been something overtly sexualized, subject yourself to objectification. Now when I dance, I rarely think about how people are judging my body. As a kinky small-fat queer person, I love to feel myself jiggle as a dance, shake as I bounce, I marvel at all the things my body can do. And techno, to some extent, has shown me that. I know I have helped other womxn feel more comfortable in their bodies because of this and that is the most precious gift.
I am able to be more confident in kinky spaces, I am not scared to reveal myself or my body, because I’ve been revealing myself the entire time. And goddamn do I love the looks I get when I undress in the club: both sexualized, disgusted, enamored and embarrassed. My tummy, my breasts, my ass all sticking out, my body challenges everything we have been taught in the western world that makes a woman beautiful. My body makes people question themselves, me, and our positions in society and I’m just so proud of who I have become.
Techno reflects my personality in the sense that you never know what you’re going to get- when it’s good it’s really good, indulgent and rich, chaotic and unifying. And when it’s bad, it’s just really annoying.
I have borderline personality disorder and it’s rare to find an art form that can encapsulate this momentum in fluctuation of emotion that I feel every single day. It’s intense, overbearing, freeing, wild, lovely: everything I’ve always felt. I am grateful for the ability I have to feel so intensely, dancing in the techno scene has let me release a lot of rage and love I have always been ashamed of, free of judgement.
Sometimes the music can be too much: deep tracks where there is this tiny demonic voice, that is triggering for me. I have had to leave dance floors because of it. Or being consumed by lo-fi house on a sunny day staring at my chosen family in wonderment, tears brimming in my eyes because I really didn’t think I would make it this far – I am so grateful that techno can allow me to feel so much”

🗣@sassymeatball / 📸 @hedonsonance/ Annelies Kietselaer