Jacky

I was twenty-one and being sent off to Berghain by Joost van Bellen, after we hosted a night of Rauw a day earlier in the city. He encouraged me to not go there before 3AM. Even while being on the guestlist. Walking towards the club, I saw people dressed in leather fetish gear. I stepped into this industrial looking building, hearing banging beats and I instantly knew I found a place that felt like home.

The same way I’ve felt when entering club 11 on my first night of working for the Rauw crew a few years earlier. Right from the very start it fell into place. Later, Trouw and DS. It is a true love kind of thing. I immersed myself in the nightlife. Working and dancing nights and days away. A set of beats and you got me. The complete freedom in expressing and losing yourself in the music. It has given me everything. 

Without the night and the people in it, I would not be where I am now. In the night I have found likeminded people. In the night I found my chosen family. I learned to be vulnerable, to speak my mind. Since then, I am an open book and not afraid of taboos or showing who you are hence my tattoos. During night and day, I’m always dressed in black which is not only my favorite color but also a steady silent nod to the night.

The night, my true love, gave me a fresh start after losing my dad in 2015 and being in a not so pleasant relationship with my ex. I have lost everything in a couple of months. I’ve regained and started a new life due to the night. I found a home through people who I have met in de DJ booth at a party, in smoking areas but also gained jobs through friends of a friends whom I have met in De School. But mainly I’ve  danced my grief away during so many club nights (Het Weekend, Spielraum) you cannot imagine. I became my true self, came out as a queer person at twenty-seven due to De School and the friends I have met there. To this day I’m so super grateful spaces like these exist.

There should be a zero tolerance towards inappropriate behavior to make the scene better and safer, i think. Not only towards preventing racism, misogyny but also fat phobia etc. Educate the people!

To first time ravers I would say, get rid of the phone. Be present in the moment. Dance, embrace, connect with the people around you. They might surprise you, in a good way.

🗣 @jackyhijstek
📸 @hedonsonance / Annelies Kietselaer